I am struggling to recall the state of my intellect prior to taking up the labor of classical reasoning. Even as I try to recall, essentially, where my mindset was 6 months ago, I can’t help but perceive those images with a newfound logic that sits with me now. It is as if I had this clarity, all along, but I know that was never the case.
I suppose, if I were to illustrate the change, I would express it like this:
It’s like having once been on a little tiny boat, cast adrift upon dark waters, in the maelstrom of life, perceiving there are others who are undergoing the same, but no one seems to be aware of the same; and then, by God’s grace, ending up washed ashore on an island with dense fog.
On that beach, the training begins, to know there is land to stand on, sand to touch, and things to see: to learn, to know, and to perceive. There is much wrestling with all there is to know on this beach, of which the sands seems infinite, at least now you are aware, that there was a beach to begin with.
Having begun with Porphyry, teaching you how to fish, and with Aristotle how to hunt, asking things like, “What is this?” Then, after much suffering, and pain, you begin to look less at the maelstrom you left, and yearn to know where to end.
You can’t go back, you must go forward, and so you train, and train, and train, until one day, finally, the dense fog lifts, and you see the Mountain.
There are others too, who are further along than you, but that’s okay, because you all know how to pray; and, along the way, you see, many other places to ponder and stay. Many forests, rivers, caves, swamps, ravines, cliffs, trails, and deserts to see, while climbing up to that magnificent summit. To at the top, one day, being able to shout, “I was, and am, saved by Jesus, but now, my mind is free!!!”
The fog has only just now lifted for me, and I see the Mountain, and so now I begin my climb, an adventure of a lifetime, to follow those who came, and went, before me.
EAR